nightmare

since im a loner and always alone (but never lonely), i got no one else to share my perverted nightmare. so i just have to jot this one down. coz i cant bear having to replay the scene over and over in my head.

not so many nights ago, i got this really pervert dream. no, having a perverted nightmare doesnt make me a pervert. its just so happen that i am so 'geli' after i woke up.

not so long ago i came to know this one guy. lets call him Encik H. but try as i might, there are certain aspects of him that really gets on my nerve. ok, i shouldnt list down everything in details, cause there is a chance i might puke on my pillow, but seriously, when he is around, i feel 'geli'.

so back to my dream. all i remembered was, i was playing with some kids, location at my kampung. i was dressed in my usual torn jeans n t shirt, i was bare foot, muds all over my cloth, feet dirty with soil and my hair is totally messed up as i played with the kids. suddenly, there was this big car (model unknown), stopped and parked in front of us.

i looked up and saw Encil H came out of the car, wearing light brown suit, hair combed nicely, smiling. the part where i want to kill myself is that, in my dream, i thought he looked OK, where in real life, i might thought that accidentally spilled oil on his hair.

so he walked towards me, and suddenly, he was standing so close to me! as if we r going to kiss?? ewwwww.. i hate this part!! demm!! in my stupid perverted dream, Encik H picked few strands of my hair and tuck it behind my ears!! and he even try to brushed off some dirt on my shirt and dusted off some stupid leaves on my hair.

ewwwww gross!

why cant i dream about richard cypher or even darken rahl????

shit. i am so dem geli now.

but the second part where i want to kill myself now is the fact that, in that dream, i cant remember feeling angry when he did that!! ewwwww.. did i actually like that in my dream. dem!!

if u think thats romantic, please, spare me this. its only romantic if u fancy the guy. if its not, its gross.

huh. finally.

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welcome baby ryan!

ahh.. where do i begin. so many things happen lately. i'll cut to the chase la. today is the 3rd day im in labuan, visiting again our firstborn nephew, muhammad ryan, born on 5th march. ryan@ian sgt comel. mcm mama dia jugak. thank god, ryan tak itam dah mcm bapak nya. hahaha...

we drove all the way to kk then to menumbok and caught the 5pm ferry from menumbok to labuan . we choose to drive so easier to get around later. it turns out that, there were no other passenger on that day,so we got the ferry all to ourselves. but i was already so tired from the 6 hours driving, i just wish the ferry would sail faster. we arrive at labuan jetty at around 8pm, because apparently, the ferry was not given permission to dock due to some error.

most of the time we just stay at home looking after jane who is still sore from the operation, but shes gaining strength. mom is here since before, so she is getting enough rest. baby ryan is the most happy baby i ever see. he didnt cry, and he sleeps a lot too. mom have to wake him up so that she could bath him. so funny. he'd cry a little when mom wake him up, but then he'll open his eyes and stay calm. in the morning when he wakes up, he smiles a lot. so funny. sengih smpi nampak gusi tuuu.. hahaha..

i remembered something from before.. when ryan is a week overdue from birth, the doc is already worried. i placed a call to my grandmother in indonesia, and she told me, its in our 'genetic/keturunan' that most women in our family carry the pregnancy till 10-12 months. grandma said, she carried my mother until 12 months into pregnancy. some people called it 'bunting kerbau'. so by right, we shuldnt worry lah, but it so happen that ryan poo poo while still inside. bless him.

so tomorrow we'll be heading back to kk. i dread the driving and the ferry. i once enjoy ferry rides, but laltely, i cant bear sitting for so long. i usually enjoy stillness and quiet, but lately, i just wanna get it over with. got some pictures, but im way too lazy to upload it.  ryan's pic is in my facebook, look it up. if u havent got it, then it wasnt meant for u to see. wahahahaha

cheerios!

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ya Allah,take care of my sister..

Ya Allah,
Have mercy on my sister,
Let all be good for her,
Let the operation be successful,
Take care of her and the baby..

I may never be the most faithful servant,
But for all the wrongs that I've done,
All im asking is this..
let my sister live safe and sound..
is all im asking..

Take away everything that I have..
Even my future, even my life..
I wont even  blink an eye...
but please ya Allah..
Let my sister live through this..

Jane has been admitted into the hospital since yesterday. But till now, the labor has not started yet. Worst, the baby already start to suffocate in his own liquids and mess. So Jane will undergo operation. I wish I can fly over tonite, but I have to wait till the morning.. If you read this, pray for my sister, Jennifer and her unborn baby...

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