ryyan unplugged.

2 months old ryyan laughing out loud with his daddy.
long live the superior gene! muahahahaha

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drawn together.. and not pulling away

catchy, yeah?
twas a tagline from the season finale of TVD.
drawn together.. and not pulling away.
have no idea why this line made me think.
and no, im not drawn to anything or anyone.

this week has been a total blast.
meaning, i keep making money. haha.
anyway, i was rearranging my future.
meaning, planning on what the hell am i gonna do with the rest of my life
which, is a loooooong way to go. assuming i didnt get hit by a truck.
so i've decided.
but im not gonna share it just yet.
haha.

anyway, tonight at 8pm in the USA, the season finale for TVD will be aired.
means i have to wait till tomorrow night before i'll be able to download it.
by then everybody else in this world would know what already happened.
and i will have more restraint so that i wont peek at the synopsis etc.

ok, myself is getting boring.
but, this is all i've got at the moment.
so, later.

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say all i need

woke up early.
as usual i guess.
took a long walk to stretch my legs.
while walking, this song kept echoing in my head..

"Do you know where your heart is?

Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?


Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted


Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold...."

enjoy.

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so, here it goes..

im not sure whether im having premonition, deja vu or maybe im a clairvoyant?
laughs out loud.
anyway, i have one of those loooooong day.
but, im loving it.
i never wanted to be an agent of any type of brands or products or whatnots.
capitalism. remember?
laughs.
but, heres the thing.
i signed up to be an agent of HR products.
only because, after thorough observation using my mom as the chck points, im declaring that the products actually worked as claimed.
so kudos to HR.
so im officially selling all those goat products and such.
and heres another thing.
in two weeks im buying myself some goats.
on cue, people, laugh out loud. haha
so anyway, this is only a pet project. im fascinated by goats at the moment.
weird, definitely weird.
do you know that goat's milk is the second best milk after breast's milk?
i never knew this before.
so, i thought come next school holiday, im gonna hop down into the department of veterinary, yup, jabatan haiwan, to see what kind of goat that is worth to be bought.
nah, im not looking into a massive production of goats. just gonna buy 1 male and two females and breed them.
oh no, theres no way in hell im gonna touch them. goat are gross. ewww. im gonna send them right away to my grandfather at his kampung and ask him to take care of the goats since he got nothing else to do. heh.
so anyway, maybe if they breed, i'd be a breeder one day. haha.
this is all becauuse i have no desire to stick my neck and live a life in a city so im going all backwards.

last but not least.
i know im gonna regret this.
im gonna regret this soon after i hit the PUBLIST POTS button.
but what the hell.
once is too many times already.
but err..
i kinda miss you.

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crazee iz what crazee doezzzzz..

okay im in a good mood.
full stomach.
good day.
and its friday!!
and its the day when i can download the latest episode of TVD. woohoo...
im downloading it as i speak, so to speak, but i cant wait for it to finish in another hour and a half. im crazeeeee about TVD. and im about to shit in my pants, so to speak, coz the tweets from the cast and the writers make the waiting such an unbearable pain in the ass.

cant wait to see damon aka ian somerhalder. cant wait to see alaric as well, the hot, lushy butt of a historian. hihi. owh, cant wait to see stefan brooding again. stefan should just kill himself so damon can be with elena. haha. i wrote about this already, didnt i?

so dude and dudettes, if u are as crazee as i am, lets watch TVD. next week is the season finale. season 2 TVD starts in september. but i dont mind. in june, True Blood is coming back for their 3rd season. woohooo. cant wait to see what happen to Bill after he proposed to Sookie. well, some asshole kidnapped Bill when Sookie went to the toilet. what a bummer. and also in june, we get an extra dose of edward cullen. again. i hope this eclipse is better than new moon.

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brunch, anyone?

so, its one o'clock in the afternoon.
lo and behold, im still firing up on all gears.
so i decided i should just go out take a walk n get me some food.
maybe, if i eat and stuff myself, i'd finally go to sleep.
and that reminds me, i didnt eat anything since...
..friday! yep, last meal was on friday. check.
so here it is, the perfect singleton's sunday brunch.
sayur kacang and daging masak merah complete with chocolate ice with extra cream.
i'm gonna stuff myself.
coming right up!

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this is bad.

real bad..
its a minute to ten in the morning.
but i havent shown any sign of fatigue.
not even a tiny inclination to suggest that i might fall asleep any minutes from now.
all i kept thinking was..
i wanted to drink more.
sigh...
i am so gonna regret this when my eyes go all fluffy tomorrow.

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so, here's the thing.

it's eight in the morning.
and my body is so revved up.
my eyes are wide awake.
i felt so... alive.

i will regret this state of conciousness over some time tomorrow when i have to stay on my feet for 16 hours. shouldnt have drank all those coffee. what a bummer.

but here's the thing that somehow cheer up my day and night.
you know how hooked up i am now with TVD.
duhh~~ TVD? The Vampire Diaries. haha. gotcha!

so i was awake all night long.
with nothing to do.
except staring at my screen. no, i lied. i watched True Blood. again.
aside of that, i keep on checking my twitter page.
i was actually checking up on iansomerhalder.
ian was one of those people who is using twitter to update ppl about something other than himself.
 which is a rare quality in a breather since he IS a striving star with millions of fans worldwide.
the way he kept twittering about asking ppl to check on those CNN reports on the oil spillage near Mexican Gulf is so heartbreaking.
and he literally begged ppl to go to this animal center in Atlanta to adopt a pet, WHICH by the way, got no respons at all! he ACTUALLY went there himself but no one showed up.
i guess he had scores of fans, but no one is bothered to care about adopting a pet.
i think thats awfully nice of him to actually care.
he even took a short video documenting his visit to the center.
sweeeeettt...

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aches

its seven in the morning.
havent slept a second since last night.
drank too much caffeine. i had six long shots bottoms up too many. or was it seven?eight?
i.. dont know.. why i drank that much.
its just that..
i dont wanna sleep.
i couldnt take my mind of things.
of you.
no. i lied.
i stayed awake.
so that i can keep on thinking.
feeling.
sensing.
knowing.
waiting.
hurting.
missing...

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sparkplug

yesterday..

i was being my usual self on weekend.yeap. the lazy me. i hate cooking if im the only one whose gonna eat so i settle for a simple nasi campur take away. as usual, i have this one cafe that i frequented every weekend. so yesterday, it was packed. u see, im the kind of person who are crowdaphobic. wahahahaha. i made that word up. i hate crowds but i was so hungry i decided i'll just barge in. so, there was this well dressed fella who serves me. i was a bit perplexed because he was too nicely dressed to be just a waitress? but, who cares. as long as i got my nasi campur.

"cik nak nasi?"
"ha ah."
"makan sini or take away?" wooo. slalu orang cakap makan sini ke bungkus.
"tapau."
"nak nasi banyak ke sikit?" seriously, what kind of question is that? if i said banyak, i will look like crap, if i said sikit, i will look like someone who control-control.
"banyak." damn. the guy actually smirk. SMIRK not smile. i gave him my non-chalant, no expression, blank face with no sign that i saw his SMIRK.
"cik nak lauk ape?" i pointed at what looks like kari ayam n sayur kacang buncis.
"makan kambing yer?"
"owh. ingatkan ayam. x pe, bg saya ayam masak kicap jer la."
"minum?"
"air mineral je. botol besar. tq." wahahahaha. i am so lazy i didnt even bother to boil water.
"semuanya rm5.50" another smirk. fuh.. what a weird guy.

today...

 i was sweeping the floor when suddenly, a  kid run towards me.
"akak! akak! pakcik saya suruh bagi ni.." cool.. another paper with a handphone no written nicely.
"sapa pakcik kamu ni?"
"pakcik suruh akak telepon dulu."
"aik? alah bg tahu la. akak kasik 50sen." wahahahahahaa..
"pakcik sy yang jual nasi campur dgn akak." damn..
"camana plak dia tahu akak niaga sini?"
"saya la bg tahu.. hahaahaha.. akak, sy nak 50 sen.."

as usual, i took the paper.
and as usual too, i lost it.
and yeah, i have to switch cafe from this weekend onwards.
what a bummer. i like that cafe because it was easy to find parking spot.

and, if i were to entertain every single paper with a handphone no written on it, i'd probably have two or three kids by now. i dont know why i didnt take the chance. or maybe, it was fate preventing me from doing exactly that. heh. easy peasy. blame it on Fate. haha.

eh. and why is this entry titled sparkplug? i was reminiscing something my dear friend said to me last night. it goes something like this..

she: boring giler single nih. yg asik ngorat aku seme laki orang. diorang saja nak menggatal ngan aku sbb bini diorang kat kl.
me: hahaha. very funny mik.. jgn layan jantan miang. carik penyakit namanya tu.
she: hahahah.. aku tak kesah jadik bini no 2.. janji diorang ada duit..
me: kalau mcm tu, make sure ko jadik bini no 2 or no 3. janji ko la bini muda forever. hahaha...
she: tuh la.. weyyy ko lak camner. takde org ngorat ke...
me: bese2 la. maleh nak layan.
she: apa kes yg cikgu tu...
me: blablablablablablablabla... takde spark.. aku pon tatau kenapa. takde feeling ler beb. maybe aku ni mental. hahahaha
she: kalau takde spark, ko tukar sparkplug je. hahahaha..

it was funny while it last. and the truth is, it wasn't so funny now. i mean, if u wanna 'start' a 'relationship', it should be something that 'entice' you. not something that we picked out randomly. not something that we pick because we are bored. not something that we start because we are scared that we are gonna be left behind. i mean, im in my LATE twenties. but STRANGE, i didnt feel like it. haha.

i'd probably WILL regret this but heck, im gonna write it anyway. when i said SPARK, i really mean it. it was hard to get to know someone if you dont feel that SPARK of attraction. nah, u might think im CHOOSY (is that a word?) but no, it wasnt about being too cerewet. nah. its like, u know someone for a minute, an hour, a day and BAM!! u feel that connection. as if there was just something about them that keeps you wanting to know more. and even after you learn everything about them, you'd still see the spark. its like being on the opposite side of the world but having something in common. and the best SPARK is when both of you feel the same way.. wooo... cheesy. hehe..

and of course, for some known or unknown reason, we have to come back to the reality of it all. Not All Spark Produce Flame. what a bummer. sometimes, lack of oxygen could caused the flame to burn out. haha..

but seriously guys, im all for the spark thingy.
oh heck. why the hell am i thinking about you?

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