Now we are talking!

I slept early last nite, actually, been sleeping early, and for some awful reason, I always 'bangun secara mengejut' around 12am to 1am. It has been like this for months. I have no idea why. So like usual, here I am, lounging around in my bed, surfing aimlessly for stuff to laugh about. Hehe. In case you havent notice, I always love reading funny stuff. This one blog entry caught my attention. It was so deliriously funny and honest, and I just HAVE TO share it with you. but, for all due respect, it contains reading hazard for men.

Title: Got Boobs? Instant Hotties?
Taken from: http://obefiend.blogspot.com/

Boobs are like beer googles for ugly chicks?


I’m an ass and leg man. I like boobs too but to me boobs are extremely overrated. Sometimes men got blinded by those big hooters they fail to realise that the chick that they considers hot are actually not that hot.

Let’s do a rundown of supposedly hot babes in the entertainment business shall we. These pictures are edited so that their prized asset won’t be a distraction. Now men, be honest and tell me if these chicks still look hot without their humongous mammary glands.

I personally think Blake Lively is unbelievably horse face. I think when Sarah Jessica Parker eventually retires Blake could take her place as the horse of Hollywoodland. HA HA.

So why the obsession with boobs? I remember my first encounter with a pair boobs. I was around 8-10 at the time. I was watching an Indon horror movie tape we found in my uncle’s room. The title was Pontianak Berdarah or something. Me and my cousins found it under his wardrobe while we were in my nenek’s house. So we loaded the tape into his tape machine. The movie started with a wedding scene. Judging by the costume it was a traditional Javanese wedding. After the akad nikah the scene moved to the bedroom. I was an innocent lad back then so we suspected nothing weird will happen. Next thing we knew the newlyweds are naked and I saw my first pair of boobies! They were perky and B cup. They are actually pretty cute I must say. Then the scene got fucked up. The husband was actually a black magic practitioner and he rips those cute boobs from his wife’s chest like Mortal Kombat. Blood were now gushing from what’s left of her boobs. We screamed because we never saw anything quite as WTF as that before. All the uncles and auntie came running to see what’s the big ruckus was all about. We pointed to the telly and were met with silence. HAHAHA.



Suffice to say my uncles no longer kept his VHS under the wardrobe after that and I was traumatised by boobs. LOL

So why am I not a boob man? As I said boobs are overrated. What really attracted me to girls are

•Husky voice


•Ass

Husky voice is the most underrated sexiness factor ever. When I told Mrs Weiland I have a crush on Julia Stiles she looked at me like I was retarded. I have to explain to her why I like Miss Stiles so much. Her voice is fucking husky as hell. I love them!

“Bie.... your taste in women suck. She is ugly and manly.Now you make me feel like I am one of those sucky women!”

LOL. Then I have to pujuk her for 10 minutes or so. In case you are wondering Mrs Weiland voice is husky and sexy as hell. When we first got to know each other we talked through Yahoo Messenger. Then she called me one fine day and I knew then she is someone that I want to make babies with. You can tell a lot from the voice and how they speak to you. I can’t stand girls who speak manja-manja and talks like a baby

“Bibieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......... I missssssh u shangatttttttt”

My penis literally shrinks back into my nut sack each time I hear a girl speaks like that. Oh I dated a couple of those too. It didn’t last long thank god! I can’t imagine marrying someone who talks like that. Can you imagine all the inane conversation in between sex? HAHAHAHHA

As for the ass? I can’t explain this but I just love a good ass on a women. But I do remember asking my mom why when whistles when they saw a curvy women. If you watch 80’s Malay movies they must have at least one scene where the actor wolf whistles a female and then they make the body shape signal with their hands. My mom told me;

“Bila kamu dah besar kamu tau la nanti”

I dah besar now and still I have no answer why I like curvy women. They are just sexier I think. Speaking about no real logical answer, I often asked Mrs Weiland why she needs to go to 17 shoe shops to look or shoes and we ALWAYS end up at the first shop where she eventually tried the first shoe anyway! RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
So anyway most people think the obsession with boobs is the exclusive domain of the men. This is not true. I think women are equally obsessive with boobs. They stuff Kleenex inside their cup to make their boobs bigger. They wore tank tops to flaunt them. Even chicks with no boobs use the “Myspace Camera Angle (tm)” to fake their nonexistent cleavage. There are even videos on YouTube on how to create a fake cleavage using make up. From now on please stop accusing us men of being obsessive with boobs.
Oh....... just before we go. There is another reason why I don’t go out and look for girls with big boobs. If you marry a small boobed chick, you can always "enhance" her later. But if you marry someone with squeaky voice and no ass.......... there is no medical procedure to remedy this deficiency! LOL!

I love Mrs Weiland.........(ayat penyelamat just in case she rotan me again)

p/s : Hey, it's a start, right? The goal, of course, is to be like you - the Daywalker! You got the best of both worlds, don't you? All our strengths... none of our weaknesses.


My comment: I agreed like 150% with this writer. First, the part where he hated squeaky-voice chicks. OOooh I hate those type of girls. I dont make friends with those gedik types. Those manja2 types who SQUEAK their voice when they talk to anyone.

"weyyhhh koranggsss joms larrrr gi shoppinggg beshhhhh shangattt kat sanerr aderr shellll"
"Heyy sayangg,, I misshhh youuuuu shangat-shangatt.. bilerr you nakk datangggg.. Missshhhh youuuuu"

ok I dont really know how to imitate or tiru-tiru gaya gediks nih. I usually saw that they talked like that on telly. I bet the KL metro type girls talk like that. Im a kampong girl, so I dont really know. I hate those girls who talk as if they got they brains stuck forever right at their skinny ass. I hate talking bout shoes. Bout fashion. Bout make ups. I dont even like shopping. I mean, come on la. Is it not enough that you already wear all the branded stuff, you have to continously talk about it? I loved good pair of branded, expensive jeans, but I dont go around talking about fashion all the chances I got. Nak sgt guys attention that you have to talk gediks, talk manja2. Its not sexy. Suddenly I feel like cursing. And not suprising at all, I dont have friends like this. Period. I just couldnt stand gediks people who flaunt their body, talk like a retard, just to get the male attention. Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. &(7(&*(&*^&*6868q7wq8wq.

Next, bout this curvy thingy. Haha. Okayyy this is so sensitive as I happened to 'evolve' into one. Two nights ago, for some sad reason, there is this one guy who kept saying he is becoming a 'fat' person. He kept comparing his figure when he was younger and he kept complaining bout his gaining weight and becoming fat. I dont really know why he kept bringing that up. I think it was suffice to say that, he wanted me to know that, I too, am 'fat'??

*Sigh....*

Never mind.

I think, being intelligent is sexy. Being curvy as hell doesnt hurt either. Haha. (Okay, boobs may help too, but it can steer the direction of even the most intelligent conversation, HAHAHA, but a nice pair of ass, male species doesnt know what hit him. LOL) If I were to choose, I'd go for the short, itam legam, bald, fat guy but who is damn smart RATHER than the tall, muscled, 6packs who talks only sports, car, his own body, and talks money all the time. Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

And it just occur to me, why do girls tend to say stuff like..

"sayangg... i rindu u shangat-sshangattt... "

when,

"miss u so damn much.."

....says it all?

Haha.

I guess, Im just different. Not normal. The terminal barchelorette. I guess being aloof, cold, not gediks, is not in the market at the moment. Being skinny like typical TV and film actor and actress is what most people especially men go after these days.

Well, cant be bothered.

Cheers.