brunch, anyone?

so, its one o'clock in the afternoon.
lo and behold, im still firing up on all gears.
so i decided i should just go out take a walk n get me some food.
maybe, if i eat and stuff myself, i'd finally go to sleep.
and that reminds me, i didnt eat anything since...
..friday! yep, last meal was on friday. check.
so here it is, the perfect singleton's sunday brunch.
sayur kacang and daging masak merah complete with chocolate ice with extra cream.
i'm gonna stuff myself.
coming right up!

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this is bad.

real bad..
its a minute to ten in the morning.
but i havent shown any sign of fatigue.
not even a tiny inclination to suggest that i might fall asleep any minutes from now.
all i kept thinking was..
i wanted to drink more.
sigh...
i am so gonna regret this when my eyes go all fluffy tomorrow.

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so, here's the thing.

it's eight in the morning.
and my body is so revved up.
my eyes are wide awake.
i felt so... alive.

i will regret this state of conciousness over some time tomorrow when i have to stay on my feet for 16 hours. shouldnt have drank all those coffee. what a bummer.

but here's the thing that somehow cheer up my day and night.
you know how hooked up i am now with TVD.
duhh~~ TVD? The Vampire Diaries. haha. gotcha!

so i was awake all night long.
with nothing to do.
except staring at my screen. no, i lied. i watched True Blood. again.
aside of that, i keep on checking my twitter page.
i was actually checking up on iansomerhalder.
ian was one of those people who is using twitter to update ppl about something other than himself.
 which is a rare quality in a breather since he IS a striving star with millions of fans worldwide.
the way he kept twittering about asking ppl to check on those CNN reports on the oil spillage near Mexican Gulf is so heartbreaking.
and he literally begged ppl to go to this animal center in Atlanta to adopt a pet, WHICH by the way, got no respons at all! he ACTUALLY went there himself but no one showed up.
i guess he had scores of fans, but no one is bothered to care about adopting a pet.
i think thats awfully nice of him to actually care.
he even took a short video documenting his visit to the center.
sweeeeettt...

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aches

its seven in the morning.
havent slept a second since last night.
drank too much caffeine. i had six long shots bottoms up too many. or was it seven?eight?
i.. dont know.. why i drank that much.
its just that..
i dont wanna sleep.
i couldnt take my mind of things.
of you.
no. i lied.
i stayed awake.
so that i can keep on thinking.
feeling.
sensing.
knowing.
waiting.
hurting.
missing...

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sparkplug

yesterday..

i was being my usual self on weekend.yeap. the lazy me. i hate cooking if im the only one whose gonna eat so i settle for a simple nasi campur take away. as usual, i have this one cafe that i frequented every weekend. so yesterday, it was packed. u see, im the kind of person who are crowdaphobic. wahahahaha. i made that word up. i hate crowds but i was so hungry i decided i'll just barge in. so, there was this well dressed fella who serves me. i was a bit perplexed because he was too nicely dressed to be just a waitress? but, who cares. as long as i got my nasi campur.

"cik nak nasi?"
"ha ah."
"makan sini or take away?" wooo. slalu orang cakap makan sini ke bungkus.
"tapau."
"nak nasi banyak ke sikit?" seriously, what kind of question is that? if i said banyak, i will look like crap, if i said sikit, i will look like someone who control-control.
"banyak." damn. the guy actually smirk. SMIRK not smile. i gave him my non-chalant, no expression, blank face with no sign that i saw his SMIRK.
"cik nak lauk ape?" i pointed at what looks like kari ayam n sayur kacang buncis.
"makan kambing yer?"
"owh. ingatkan ayam. x pe, bg saya ayam masak kicap jer la."
"minum?"
"air mineral je. botol besar. tq." wahahahaha. i am so lazy i didnt even bother to boil water.
"semuanya rm5.50" another smirk. fuh.. what a weird guy.

today...

 i was sweeping the floor when suddenly, a  kid run towards me.
"akak! akak! pakcik saya suruh bagi ni.." cool.. another paper with a handphone no written nicely.
"sapa pakcik kamu ni?"
"pakcik suruh akak telepon dulu."
"aik? alah bg tahu la. akak kasik 50sen." wahahahahahaa..
"pakcik sy yang jual nasi campur dgn akak." damn..
"camana plak dia tahu akak niaga sini?"
"saya la bg tahu.. hahaahaha.. akak, sy nak 50 sen.."

as usual, i took the paper.
and as usual too, i lost it.
and yeah, i have to switch cafe from this weekend onwards.
what a bummer. i like that cafe because it was easy to find parking spot.

and, if i were to entertain every single paper with a handphone no written on it, i'd probably have two or three kids by now. i dont know why i didnt take the chance. or maybe, it was fate preventing me from doing exactly that. heh. easy peasy. blame it on Fate. haha.

eh. and why is this entry titled sparkplug? i was reminiscing something my dear friend said to me last night. it goes something like this..

she: boring giler single nih. yg asik ngorat aku seme laki orang. diorang saja nak menggatal ngan aku sbb bini diorang kat kl.
me: hahaha. very funny mik.. jgn layan jantan miang. carik penyakit namanya tu.
she: hahahah.. aku tak kesah jadik bini no 2.. janji diorang ada duit..
me: kalau mcm tu, make sure ko jadik bini no 2 or no 3. janji ko la bini muda forever. hahaha...
she: tuh la.. weyyy ko lak camner. takde org ngorat ke...
me: bese2 la. maleh nak layan.
she: apa kes yg cikgu tu...
me: blablablablablablablabla... takde spark.. aku pon tatau kenapa. takde feeling ler beb. maybe aku ni mental. hahahaha
she: kalau takde spark, ko tukar sparkplug je. hahahaha..

it was funny while it last. and the truth is, it wasn't so funny now. i mean, if u wanna 'start' a 'relationship', it should be something that 'entice' you. not something that we picked out randomly. not something that we pick because we are bored. not something that we start because we are scared that we are gonna be left behind. i mean, im in my LATE twenties. but STRANGE, i didnt feel like it. haha.

i'd probably WILL regret this but heck, im gonna write it anyway. when i said SPARK, i really mean it. it was hard to get to know someone if you dont feel that SPARK of attraction. nah, u might think im CHOOSY (is that a word?) but no, it wasnt about being too cerewet. nah. its like, u know someone for a minute, an hour, a day and BAM!! u feel that connection. as if there was just something about them that keeps you wanting to know more. and even after you learn everything about them, you'd still see the spark. its like being on the opposite side of the world but having something in common. and the best SPARK is when both of you feel the same way.. wooo... cheesy. hehe..

and of course, for some known or unknown reason, we have to come back to the reality of it all. Not All Spark Produce Flame. what a bummer. sometimes, lack of oxygen could caused the flame to burn out. haha..

but seriously guys, im all for the spark thingy.
oh heck. why the hell am i thinking about you?

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facebook? anyone?

due to some sense on insecurity, i decided not to publish my facebook. haha.
but i'll publish the snapshot of my new info.

yeap. that would summarize the kind of person i am. haha.

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my new obsession

i figured, since im writing craps, i might as well throw more craps while i still have some time to kill.

for the past few months, im kinda obsessed with all this vampires stuff. muahaha.
laugh all you want. dissin' me wont do you or me any good. as i grow older, i find myself to be desensitize. im more mean now. haha. yeappp. instead of becoming like a lady that im supposed to, im becoming someone else. i've nurtured the mean-me to the level that im so comfortable being mean. and rude. huahuahua.

im more...
sharp tounge (read: my words hurt people lately.)
rough.
heartless.

wooo. whats happening to me?
anyhow, thats for later.

my new obsession would be all things related to vampires. haha. of course, tv shows. you see, i dont have the luxury to befriend people, most of my friends are either married or so far away tending to their own single minded singletons. yeapp. this singletons crap would fit another entry.

like i said before i got sidetracked, im loving all these vampires stuff to the extent that im opening a twitter account so that i can keep track on whats happening with the cast. woohoo. if thats not obsession, than please do tell me what was that because i cant wait for the next episode of vampire diaries. lucky me because come next monday, times flew so fast its soon be thursday where the new episode will air on CW network. dont bother flipping your channel, CW is not on Astro. haha.

anyhow, things i love about this show that its got plots that aint static, every episodes keeps you wanting for more. haha. cliche. so unlike malaysian drama. urgh. (suddenly, i have this annoying flashback of nurkasih). well, wont waste my time dissin' about nurkasih again. been there done that. if  you happen to watch it too, then you'll know that the evil brother Damon, is looking more dashing and kinder too which earn a soft spot with me too, like the millions of viewers who beginning to vote for Team Damon on facebook. (yes people, im spending more time on my facebook, as oppossed to my stand b4). and the good brother, Stefan, is beginning to bore me. maybe Stefan should just kill himself.

Its one mroe season to the season finale.*sigh..* afterthat, no more vamp shows for me. i have to wait till next June for the new season of TrueBlood. cant wait to see Bill COmpton and Sookie again. And yes, comes next June too, Twilight Saga continue. Eclipse, the third installment of the series is released. now, i used to be so enarmoured with this Twilight thing, but the more i watch vampire diariees and trueblood, the more i realized, what an idiot both this Edward and Bella. haha. nah.. new moon was a disapointment for me. I hope eclipse will be better. hopefully.

not bad for a piece of crap.
haha.

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poets and craps

i used to be a poet.
yeepppp.
that was when i was feeling heartbroken.
or sad.
or have this ample emotion that i just have to share with you.

but.
when i un-poet myself.
i find myself to be..
writing craps.
yup.
poet turns crap.

haha.

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rise and shine

its been a while.
i know.
24 hours a day is almost insufficient.

i wanted to write, but the lack of ideas, urges and times have negatively impact my decision of never to bother again.

i dont even bother to read news.
i dont even know whats happening in the big bad world out there.
i am so totally clueless.
i go online everyday, but i only open my facebook to see the updates from family and friends.
and of course, i go online to download all those shows that i missed because i spent almost 16 hours a day working.

i am so focus on working.
day in and day out.
its so refreshing not having to think about anything at all.

and so, couple of days ago, i wanted to start writing again.
and so, i tried to find a one template that will be THE one.
and fudge.
its so hard to find THE one.
can i say that looking for THE one template that will satisfy you is the same like looking for THE ONE MR Right?

so yeah, maybe i'll continue later.

definitely maybe.
because..
maybe is a few steps up from no.
but..
its also a million steps down from definite.

haha.

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nightmare

since im a loner and always alone (but never lonely), i got no one else to share my perverted nightmare. so i just have to jot this one down. coz i cant bear having to replay the scene over and over in my head.

not so many nights ago, i got this really pervert dream. no, having a perverted nightmare doesnt make me a pervert. its just so happen that i am so 'geli' after i woke up.

not so long ago i came to know this one guy. lets call him Encik H. but try as i might, there are certain aspects of him that really gets on my nerve. ok, i shouldnt list down everything in details, cause there is a chance i might puke on my pillow, but seriously, when he is around, i feel 'geli'.

so back to my dream. all i remembered was, i was playing with some kids, location at my kampung. i was dressed in my usual torn jeans n t shirt, i was bare foot, muds all over my cloth, feet dirty with soil and my hair is totally messed up as i played with the kids. suddenly, there was this big car (model unknown), stopped and parked in front of us.

i looked up and saw Encil H came out of the car, wearing light brown suit, hair combed nicely, smiling. the part where i want to kill myself is that, in my dream, i thought he looked OK, where in real life, i might thought that accidentally spilled oil on his hair.

so he walked towards me, and suddenly, he was standing so close to me! as if we r going to kiss?? ewwwww.. i hate this part!! demm!! in my stupid perverted dream, Encik H picked few strands of my hair and tuck it behind my ears!! and he even try to brushed off some dirt on my shirt and dusted off some stupid leaves on my hair.

ewwwww gross!

why cant i dream about richard cypher or even darken rahl????

shit. i am so dem geli now.

but the second part where i want to kill myself now is the fact that, in that dream, i cant remember feeling angry when he did that!! ewwwww.. did i actually like that in my dream. dem!!

if u think thats romantic, please, spare me this. its only romantic if u fancy the guy. if its not, its gross.

huh. finally.

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